la violette pensée

❀⚧陰恨⚢
blessings for an elay woman: imagination, intelligence, endurance

“I did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. I did not like to be touched because I craved it too much. I wanted to be held very tight so I would not break. Even now, when people lean down to touch me, or hug me, or put a hand on my shoulder, I hold my breath. I turn my face. I want to cry.”

Marya Hornbacher, Wasted (via serialstranger)

GPOY.

(via lizardwalk)

When I grow up.

gcvsa:

I really have a thing for a French Blue fitted dress shirt. I’ll wear it with a black suit with a fitted jacket and wide-legged pants, and black patent heels and accessories. Jewelry by Tiffany & Co, of course. Scent by Boucheron.

All shall love me, and despair…

April 15, 2011

The Worst Part.

gcvsa:

The worst part of being trans and out, especially if you are so misfortunate as to be non-passable, is that the vast majority of people will cease to see you as a human being. Their conception of you will henceforth begin and end with your otherness. You will likely never again be seen by others as a sufficiently respectable citizen, and unless you have managed to somehow make yourself financially successful before you come out, you will likely be excluded forevermore from any lucrative activity in the economy that doesn’t in some way involve exploiting your difference for the gratification and amusement of the kyriarchy.

Without the comforts and prestige that money and credit can buy, those in the mainstream will not even feel it necessary to humor you by being even superficially polite to you, let alone by pretending to like you well enough to consider you a friend.

I don’t know which hurts more: having lived by suppressing the truth about myself for 40 years, or facing the rest of my life as myself, but alone, destitute, disregarded, unloved, and utterly forgotten.

I have no real hope of ever being at peace in this world, and the only chance I may have at even a marginal amount of comfort seems to be to abandon any dreams I once had, rid myself of any idea that I might ever regain the status that I once held in society, and approach the rest of my life, once again, as if I were a child just beginning to make my own way into the adult world.

The trouble with this is that I feel such a sense of duty to my past life, and I fear to leave it, because doing so would mean to admit failure. The very idea of leaving it fills me with overwhelming dread and crushing despair, and those who ought to be my greatest supporters know that they can continually use that fear, and my lack of financial resources against me to manipulate me and use me for their own ends.

I am no longer a child, though, and I can no more forget that I have spent my entire life developing and following a philosophy of life that leads me to hurl myself against the slings and arrows of ourageous fortune than I can unmake the child of my own who is the only reason other than my own obstinacy that I don’t go gently into that good night and fade forever from this bitter and mortal coil.

I have never been good at leaving. I’m nearly always the last to go.

April 29, 2011. Three years ago, this week. Still true.

gcvsa:

Oh, the silliness, it burns!

I don’t remember owning these shoes? March 2011. Black closed toe slingbacks? Huh. I wish I had those right now!

gcvsa:

Oh, the silliness, it burns!

I don’t remember owning these shoes? March 2011. Black closed toe slingbacks? Huh. I wish I had those right now!

“A woman feeling haan freezes the ground even in Spring.”

– Korean colloquialism (via gcvsa)

Chitrangada Singh for Azva Jewellery, Mumbai, 2013

Chitrangada Singh for Azva Jewellery, Mumbai, 2013

Tarun Tahiliani Couture & Bridal, India

Happy Easter 2014

I am not the sort of person who needs to search for justification for who I am in the Christian canon. I am atheist—I believe not in deity, divinity, the supernatural or the mystical. But I also know that it is not necessary for me to believe that a man called Jesus was born of a virgin 2000 some years ago by the Grace of Adonai and was sacrificed by that entity, and that that act somehow redeems my sin against that entity, in order for me to understand that the teachings which were recorded and attributed to this Jesus are teachings by which one would do well to live.

' Love one another, even as I have loved you.'
' Love thy neighbor as thyself. There is no greater commandment. '
' That which you do for the least of these my brethren, you do also for me. '
' Greater love hath no man than this; that a man lay down his life for his friends. '

' Peace is my parting gift to you, my own peace, peace such as the world cannot give. Set your troubled hearts at rest, and banish your fears. '

It does not matter, really, if Jesus was a real person, or the construct of many. These are words of truth, and when we read them all, understanding them for what they are, a greater picture emerges, a picture of Love, of Compassion, of Peace, of Hope for a better world, for ourselves, for our children, and our children’s children yet to come.

None of these things require that we believe in a Jesus Christ, Son of God, Lord and Messiah and Savior. None of these things prevent us from seeing them in myriad symbols old and new, East and West, North and South. What is important is that we find the meaning of these symbols within ourselves and see them also in others, that we understand our own imperfection and that of others, that we forgive ourselves as well as others, that we trust that the Love we feel and desire for ourselves is also within every single life that surrounds us, and that it is meant to be shared, just as this whole of Nature was given to us all to be shared equally.

Happy Easter to you all, my friends, my family, and most of all to she who was named for the wisest among disciples, Madeleine Delphine Marie.

May Light shine ever upon thy Path, and guide thee unto Happiness all the days of our lives.

freedominwickedness:

ofthemilkyway:

Honestly it breaks my heart a little bit when I see cis women parsing out their feminism, discovering they lean radical, and then worrying what implications that will have on their trans friends and their friends who support trans people.

Like, no bby. Radical feminism doesn’t have to advocate for trans extermination. No no no no no. Please don’t do this. Please don’t listen to the people who lie to you. Trans women are necessary to radical feminism. You can be a radical feminist without adopting a hateful ideology against your fellow women.

On the contrary, it warms my heart to see women actually being aware of the history and impact of radical feminism instead of hiding their heads in the sand the way “non-TERF radical feminists” do. Because yes, the unpleasant reality is that trans extermination has been an inseparably “baked in” plank of radical feminism since its origin, making radical feminism even more inherently transphobic than it is racist. Which is to say, it’s always been explicitly transphobic, but merely implicitly racist.

In my experience, self-styled “non-TERF” radical feminists pretty much spend all their time attacking trans women and cis allies of trans women for daring to criticize radical feminist ideology. They’re basically the female equivalent of the “NOT ALL MEN” derailing MRAs.

Emphasis added.

femme-crimes:

i want this

OOH! Cool story!The other night, on my way home from food shopping, some jerk tried to get all in my space and chat me up, and for the first time in my life, I found the courage to say, “GO AWAY!”I’m so proud of myself! :happydance:

femme-crimes:

i want this

OOH! Cool story!

The other night, on my way home from food shopping, some jerk tried to get all in my space and chat me up, and for the first time in my life, I found the courage to say, “GO AWAY!”

I’m so proud of myself! :happydance:

spookyceetee:

What. Come on girl, you already DID the tough part. Its 12. That’s the easiest part of the problem to figure out. Come on.

What’s killing me about this is the solution method. Apparently, they divided the 64 on each side of the equation by the denominators, instead of simply eliminating the common multiplier? Why would you do extra work like that?All you have to do is eliminate the common multiplier, then cross-multiply, and you’re at the second line already.srsly, fire that math teacher.

spookyceetee:

What. Come on girl, you already DID the tough part. Its 12. That’s the easiest part of the problem to figure out. Come on.

What’s killing me about this is the solution method. Apparently, they divided the 64 on each side of the equation by the denominators, instead of simply eliminating the common multiplier? Why would you do extra work like that?

All you have to do is eliminate the common multiplier, then cross-multiply, and you’re at the second line already.

srsly, fire that math teacher.

Seriously though, to 11 year old me in 1980, Jean Grey was a goddess, and when they killed her, I was heartbroken. If they hadn’t brought 13 year old Kitty in immediately afterward, giving me a character with whom I could identify, I’d probably have stopped reading the X-Men right then and there. 

I was just newly 12 years old when Kitty Pryde was added to the X-Men in December 1980. I grew up with Kitty, Illyana, Dani, Rahne, Xian, Sam, Roberto, Amara, Doug, and Warlock.

And then, I stopped reading Marvel comics right around the time Rob Liefeld took over New Mutants in 1989. :P

maadskittlez29:

Do you love the colors of Marvel?

YES. YES I DO.

I really dislike Marvel’s penchant for green and yellow. Phoenix, Loki, Banshee, they even put Rogue in green and yellow. Those are some ugly ass costumes.